Rod’s Story

A Journey from Doubt to Peace: Trusting in God’s Steadfast Love

I grew up on a 160-acre farm, the third of nine siblings. Life was simple, grounded, and shaped by the rhythms of farm life. I attended the Lutheran Parochial School in Newhall, rooted in a foundation of faith, education, and family. But as a child, I wasn’t an overachiever—I was laid-back, maybe a little lazy. Neither a scholar nor an athlete, I often felt out of place. My small school ended at the 8th grade, so I moved on to a public high school in Vinton. That transition was jarring—a culture shock. Suddenly, I found myself navigating the intricate maze of cliques and social groups in a much larger school. I desperately wanted to belong.

During my senior year, something remarkable happened—I met the girl who would later become my wife. One Sunday morning, she invited me to her church. It was a world apart from my own Lutheran upbringing. The congregation was alive with vibrant songs, and the air was filled with an uplifting spirit and a powerful gospel message. It stood in stark contrast to the stoic, rigid services I was used to. I had always known about God, but for the first time, I realized I didn’t truly know Him. I had head knowledge, but my heart felt empty. Something was missing, and I couldn’t ignore it.

As time went on, our relationship grew, and I proposed. I began attending her church more regularly, but she made it clear—she could not marry me unless I had a genuine relationship with the Lord. My pride made it hard to admit that I hadn’t fully surrendered my life to God. I gave the impression that I was already a believer, and we moved forward with premarital counseling. But during one of those sessions, the truth broke through. Conviction gripped my heart—I knew I needed Jesus. That evening, after the pastor prayed, I went home and accepted Christ as my Savior.

We married and began our life together, but over time, doubts crept in. Could God really love someone like me? Could He truly forgive me for all my baggage? I struggled with pride, trying to carry my burdens alone. I felt distant from God—not because He had stepped away, but because I had. My pride, my doubts, and my reluctance to lean fully on Him were creating the distance.

Years later, during a church service, I felt a deep conviction again. I realized I had been holding back, clinging to my own ways. That day, I rededicated my life to Christ and took the step of believer’s baptism. It was a turning point, but the struggle didn’t end there. Pride and doubt still rear their heads from time to time. Yet, I hold fast to God’s promises. As 2 Corinthians 12:9 reminds me: “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.”

God has been so good to me. Even in moments when I felt distant from Him, He never moved—He is steadfast. It was always me, letting pride and doubt cloud my walk with Him. Isaiah 41:10 brings me comfort: “Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”

I’ve learned that when I stay close to God—through prayer and His Word—I feel His peace. When I stray, I make a mess of things. But God, in His infinite love, draws me back. Over time, I’ve found that the things I once desired no longer hold any appeal. As Philippians 4:7 says, “And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”

Wouldn’t you like to experience that kind of peace—the kind that transcends all understanding? Click below to learn how you can.